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TEST DRIVE 2/2 by Psshaw TEST DRIVE 2/2 by Psshaw
For one of my school assignments, I chose to do a trial run of a couple pages of DFS to get a feel for where I’m at, comic-making wise. And I’m not exactly doing backflips over it, but I do know where to go from here. I promised myself I wouldn’t point all these awful flaws (apropos of absolutely nothing, perspective is really hard when you’ve been bullshitting it your whole career). So hey, let’s play critique bingo! Maybe you see something I don’t.

This is the actual script so far. These would be… pages 8-11 of the first chapter, approx. It’s the first time we meet Glenn, and a pretty calm scene considering the two incredibly violent ones it’s stuck between. AND WOWEE BEE, LOOK AT THAT EXPOSITION.
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:iconryusan:
Ryusan Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
can i just say that serial killers actually caring about things and people other than themselves is literally my favorite part about serial killer characters
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:iconpsshaw:
Psshaw Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
HECK YES. Not that you could have a decent primary character who was just a belligerent, motivation-less psycho, but still.
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:iconravengurl11:
ravengurl11 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I can hear them speak in my goddamn head, especially the "but they're FAAAAAMILY" panel. Either you did a good job or I haven't slept for a while.
both is cool.
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:iconanniedraws:
AnnieDraws Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013
I love your style so much <33 Really gorgeous job on the lines too.
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:iconwickedgrin:
WickedGrin Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013
Hrm. Glenn has gotten very.. dark.. through the life of DFS. Is that a fake or natural tan?
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:iconpsshaw:
Psshaw Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
AAAALL NATURAL, BABY. Plus a little hint of a deathly pallor from spending so much time in the dark. I'm still exploring it, but I find it suits his color scheme, so...
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:iconwickedgrin:
WickedGrin Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013
How tall would you say Alan is? Glenn I always imagined being on the shorter side(for a guy).. like 5'5.
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:iconpsshaw:
Psshaw Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Even with the little legs, he's proportionally bigger than the average dude, so I think it evens out to about 5'8".

I am way overdue for a height chart.
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:iconpiranhapettingzoo:
piranhapettingzoo Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013   Digital Artist
please please please please do more comics. a lot more. all the time. forever.
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:iconpsshaw:
Psshaw Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
UGH.
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:iconpiranhapettingzoo:
piranhapettingzoo Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013   Digital Artist
less complaining more comics, chop chop.
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:iconmcruthless:
mcruthless Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Seeing stuff like this from you makes me so excited. I cannot wait to see your comic.
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:iconpsshaw:
Psshaw Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Oof, man, me too. Thanks for the enthusiasm!
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:icondin0lich:
DIN0LICH Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Professional Filmographer
This is like, all I ever want to see from you. Al being a sass-mouth to everyone. In comic form.

Love it.
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:iconpsshaw:
Psshaw Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I hope you're also up for when he eventually gets punched in the sass-mouth. YESS thank you.
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:icondin0lich:
DIN0LICH Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Professional Filmographer
I can't wait.
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:iconcinnamonalchemy:
CinnamonAlchemy Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I'm very not astute when it comes to comic-making, so I'll tell you what my non-honed eye can see. When I read a comic, flow is very important to me... My eyes need to be led from frame to frame and, for me to be happy, everyone's speech bubbles need to clearly communicate the order of the conversation. And I must say, what you shared is very successful in that regard. Very easy to follow and CLEAR. Your frames have interesting composition and I enjoy the use of colors - specifically the boldness of Al's red, and Al's truck's red. It's like RED begins to say AL to me as I read. Glenn's coloring seems to match his personality and his mood, too. And, well, you've always been awesome at facial expressions so...

Personally, if you're bullshitting anything, you're doing a damn good job. I actually tried to look for something helpful to crit, and can find nothing. CARRY ON.
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:iconpsshaw:
Psshaw Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Ah, legibility. You can do everything else wrong with comics, but if people can't understand you, you are being awful. THANK YOU. I'm also so glad the colors thing is coming through-- I'm finding that very important to all my character designs. And Al is, in all feasible ways, a red mothertrucker.

You are kind as hell, lady.
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:iconsourmuffin:
SourMuffin Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Student General Artist
uuugh that truck is making me want to draw inorganic objects.
I'm also feeling really attracted to the "But they're FAAAMILY!" panel for some reason.
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:iconpsshaw:
Psshaw Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
The "but they're family" panel was just the funniest thing about this to me, for some reason. Maybe I just like Al being performative and weird with no visible audience. It took a while to get his expression juuust right.

DRAW INORGANIC OBJECTS! It's best when you can trick yourself into believing they're, y'know. Organic.
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:iconthe-kei:
The-Kei Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Professional Filmographer
I love how expressive your characters are, dammit. Love.
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:icondeadlyfever:
DeadlyFever Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013
oh man i missed glenn!
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:iconaspartamedeath:
AspartameDeath Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
shit i love everything about this. the really nice dynamic, the facial expressions. its all so strong and everything reads really well. and that picture of the front of the truck is sexy as all hell.
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:iconstofu:
Stofu Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013
MAN your design and character construction skills are as good as ever, and the way you've set up each panel makes the character interaction more personal, it's really neat.
I'm sort of confused by the atmosphere in your lineart, though, especially with the characters! The way you have the scene set up and with the colors/shadows, I'm sort of expecting it to be intensely sunny! But the atomosphere doesn't really translate to the characters or their color palette, or the lineart! (in paticular, the panel where they're crossing along the side of the truck and you can see their super dark shadows...I feel like you need way darker tones on the characters to match! seems out of place. I'd almost even call for high-contrast lineart for the shadows myself, like you had in the first panel, but I may be reading that lighting wrong)

THAT SAID I'm not sure what your restrictions are as far as if you need to print this out or not, or what the intentions were otherwise, so if this is out of line I completely understand!
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:iconpsshaw:
Psshaw Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Mmmhmhmm, I struggled a lot trying to get an intense sun in there. I considered rim light, but that just seemed to wash stuff out. Thanks for the suggestion, it's definitely, definitely one I'll try out in preparation for the next time I try this scene!
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:iconstofu:
Stofu Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
Look forward to seeing how you handle the challenge!
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:iconluckeux:
Luckeux Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Welp. So far, so good mate! Keep it up!
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:iconsketcher-taku:
sketcher-taku Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Whiner in law ill use that one some day XD
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